In 2009, Miranda Lambert produced a song called "The House That Built Me".
I remember when I first heard it. I was thankfully driving alone. It was a beautiful
warm day, and I had my sunroof open, music turned up and had been happily
singing to the top of my lungs. Then, the song came on...
"I know they say, you can't go home again
I just had to come back one last time.
Ma'am, I know you don't know me from Adam,
But these handprints on the front steps are mine.
Up those stairs, in that little back bedroom
Is where I did my homework, and I learned to play guitar.
I bet you didn't know under that live oak
My favorite dog is buried in the yard."
I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
This brokenness inside me might start healing.
Out here it's like I'm someone else
I thought that maybe I could find myself.
If I could just come in I swear I'll leave
Won't take nothing but a memory
From the house that built me."
With tears flowing, I realized...this was my life! She had just painted the perfect
picture of my childhood. I grew up in the country with red dirt under my feet.
I spent my days outside exploring the woods, running through the fields,
creating a million dreams inside my little playhouse built by my dad,
driving anything motorized through the fields (go-cart,motorcycles, old
Volkswagen bug, lawn mower with the blade removed! ;-) ), laying out in the
grass watching the planes fly overhead...
dreaming of getting on one of those planes and taking it where ever it may go.
Growing up, I had every opportunity to learn practical skills like gardening,
canning, cooking, building, home repairs, caring for animals...living skills.
I loved my life and my home.
But...I have a "Gypsy Soul" of sorts that led me away. I moved many times
after I left home...9 times to be exact. I always knew that I had "home" to go
back to to get grounded. I would retreat to home or my Granny and Pa's home
to recharge my soul...to get back to the fields and woods, swing on the porch
swing listening to the squeaks and creaks of the chains.
I knew where to go to get back to the basics.
"Mama cut out pictures of houses for years
From Better Homes and Gardens magazine.
Plans were drawn and concrete poured
Nail by nail and board by board
Daddy gave life to mama's dream."
My favorite shopping trips have always been to hardware store. To me,
they signify the birth of a dream, creating something new, making something
old good again. I remember my mom turning down pages from Better Homes
and Gardens and Good Housekeeping magazines, my dad making plans, me
going with him to buy materials, and then helping create the dream.
We added rooms on throughout the years...never considering moving...
just improving upon what we had. Establishing "Roots"...
"You leave home and you move on and you do the best you can
I got lost in this old world and forgot who I am."
I forgot who I was for a long time. For about 15 years, I chased dreams,
moved 9 times, continually searching for who I wanted to be...
I learned many things, met many people whom I dearly love, and
I am grateful to for adding to the person that I am today...
yet "searching" is generally a "full circle" process.
This concept of "finding yourself" brings you right back to where you started.
Whether that start is one that you can embrace and draw comfort from or
one that you need to heal from and take solace in how far you've come from since.
These are your "Roots"...
In order for a tree to be healthy, the roots have to be in healthy soil.
If the soil condition isn't improved, the roots become damaged.
Once damaged, the tree needs to be removed and the dead or diseased roots
cut off before being replanted into healthy soil.
One of the KEY components of transplanting that tree successfully includes
retaining some of the soil from the original hole in which that tree was planted.
That's right...in order for that tree to thrive, grow, and get healthy, it ideally
needs to retain some similar soil properties from where it originated.
My grandmother used to throw away old things, and I would retrieve them
from her trash and proudly display them in my home to her bewilderment.
It makes me feel happy and at peace to see her old sifter that I had helped her
make biscuits with sitting above my cabinet door. I take comfort when I drink
out of a glass in which she poured me tea. I retained portions of my
original "soil" throughout my life where ever I went...without even realizing
that I was working to strengthen my roots so that I could thrive and grow.
We don't have to go back completely. We don't have to stay where we were
first planted. We just have to retain the good soil, take it with us where ever we go,
embrace it, and integrate it into our daily lives. The "good soil"...this includes
our good memories, favorite pieces from the past, character traits, values,
lessons learned, loved traditions...
Then, our roots can be healthy.
Then, the tree can thrive.
"Won't take nothing but a memory
from the house that built me."
For all those searching continually, perhaps running from their old "soil", don't forget
to retain the good soil and don't throw it out with the bad. From that good soil
comes the vital nourishment that makes your roots grow and thrive. And you can
take pieces of that good soil with you where ever you go.
"All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.
-J.R.R. Tolkien
