"Life Ain't Always Beautiful...."

-->

“Life ain't always beautiful
Sometimes it's just plain hard
Life can knock you down
It can break your heart.

Life ain't always beautiful
You think you're on your way
And it's just a dead end road
At the end of the day.

But the struggles make you stronger
And the changes make you wise
And happiness has it's own way
Of taking it's own sweet time.

No, life ain't always beautiful
Tears will fall sometimes
Life ain't always beautiful
But it's a beautiful ride.”

-Tommy Lee James

Remember that country song from the early 2000’s?  I remember when Gary Allen released this song in the aching vocal ability that he has which gave me chills.

I experienced divorce this past year.  Like most divorces, this was a long-time coming.  Through the years, I had many hours of contemplation regarding that impending reality.  Many people, however, had a completely different view of my life, and therefore experienced shock at the realization that my marriage didn’t look like they expected.  There were many assumptions made, and most of them led to the conclusion that my life was ideal, perfect…beautiful. 

This begs the question, “What is beauty?”

Society tends to assign beauty to outward appearance.  This falls far from the mark.  Relationally, is “beauty” the football star/prom queen match with everybody all smiles?  Sometimes…but not always. Those smiles fade sometimes when life gets hard, disappointments occur, true values are exposed or they are discovered for the first time through time and experience…

And what then?  What about “beauty” when life gets ugly?  Generally, that’s when we dig in and try to restore the things that we thought were creating beauty.  But, what if those efforts aren’t enough?

When I separated in 2017, I experienced a roller coaster of emotions…relief, fear, hope, sadness, disappointment…I grieved the loss of an “ideal”.  I worried about how people would perceive me.  Human nature tends to conclude things based on very little accurate information and instead base “fact” on what they view from the outside only. 

So, I worried…”I don’t want to disappoint people.  They don’t know lived experience…only the assumptions of the image.” 

And truth be told…there is always a lot of work creating an “image” that is acceptable to others rather than openly displaying reality. 

But when we live authentically, and we correct the areas of life that are so broken….why do we not tend to see that as “beautiful” at least not initially?

God stepped into my situation once I acknowledged the truth to myself, and what I realized was that He had been in the midst of it all along.  He had produced blessings despite the challenges.  I called on Him for many years to transform the areas that were not as beautiful.  The moment that I finally accepted that my marriage would end, He opened doors and showed me that He had already paved the way because He already knew my story long before I did.  I do believe that God hates divorce, but I also know from experience now that God gives grace when we’ve given it our best efforts.   

As I look back over the first half of my adult years, I see so much beauty in the midst of that which was not perfect (as is nothing.)

I see the faces of my precious babies; 

I see goals reached;

jobs secured;

friendships deepened in just the right times. 

I see so much beauty.

And, as I look back over this past year where I experienced so much that would appear to be ugly…I see so much beauty in the midst. 

Again, I see the smiling faces of my precious now young men;

I see goals reached;

jobs secured;

friendships deepened in just the right time. 

SO much beauty.

So, YES…..

“Life ain’t always beautiful

But it’s a beautiful ride.”