“Journeys”- Rabbits…

 Last year was a key year in my own personal healing journey. In May, two of my closest friends, Lindsay and Alexis, stepped in and supported me with their presence and reiki as I realized that many things in my world needed to shift. 

Once they were finished with the reiki session, Alexis said, “What’s up with you and rabbits?? I just kept feeling like there was something up with bunnies???”

No…I had no idea where she might have picked up a “bunny vibe,” but it didn’t resonate with me. 

Then, the following week, Lindsay texted me a photo of some pictures that Felicia and Amber had hanging in the massage room. 

“Did you know these were in here???” She asked.

I had no idea. The following week, I found a bunny “pin” in my computer bag. 

                                                                                                                    

 

The next week, I bought a house, and when I went to get the utilities in my name after closing, there were bunny pictures all over the walls in the utility department. 

   

Over and Over throughout the year, bunnies showed up….Almost always when I had reached another level of healing using EMDR with my own personal therapist. 

Clients would bring in things that were related to rabbits, and only my close friends knew that this “theme” had been emerging. 

Crazy, right? 

Insignificant? 

I don’t believe in coincidences, yet I couldn’t make sense of it, so it just became humorous as more and more bunnies showed up throughout the year. 

Yesterday, I experienced a ketamine combined with EMDR session. I’ve done a lot of work on all of my trauma targets and cleared them for the most part with the exception of the negative cognition that I identified the other day that still had a bit more “lingering than clearing.”

 

Once I got in and started the EMDR bi-lateral stimulation yesterday, though, my target immediately changed to something that I didn’t expect. 

But, there it was. 

I couldn’t get away from it. 

So, we went with it. 

As it turns out, that was the major piece that needed to be healed in order for all of the cleared targets to tie together. All of that work that I had done over the year had been so purposeful, and yet I couldn’t see how the target that showed up yesterday was affecting me until the ketamine did it’s job and lowered the defenses that were previously blocking that memory. 

After we finished our session yesterday, I walked over to the bookstore at the retreat center. 

This was the first thing that I saw when I walked in the door. 

I immediately picked it up and bought it without much thought. 

After dinner, I felt a bit restless, and we still needed to reconvene to have our “integration” time as a group. I came to my room and opened up the book wondering why I had never read it to my boys. As many books as we read through the years, and this was not one of them?! 

No, it was just for me.

“When you are Real, you don’t mind being hurt.” (Said the Skin Horse)
“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?” (The Velveteen Rabbit)
“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”